


Training Grounds

by Babybucky1943



Series: Bucky’s  life skills [1]
Category: Avengers, Marvel
Genre: Diapers, Frustration, Gen, PTSD, Secrets, Toilet training, Wetting, fear of failure, peeing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2019-06-05
Packaged: 2019-07-20 19:04:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16143554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Babybucky1943/pseuds/Babybucky1943
Summary: Steve says it’s time Bucky is toilet trained





	1. Chapter 1

Bucky had been living with Steve for a full year. Some parts had gone fast, some had dragged. Between therapy for his mental and emotional issues, and working hard to get better, it left Bucky exhausted every day. 

Bucky had finally told his therapist that Hydra had taken away his toilet training skills. He’d mumbled it into his hand because he’d been SO embarrassed. Steve was the only one that knew. Steve kind of had to know. It was his house. 

Steve had helped him change as often as necessary for the first six months. Then he’d taught him to change his own diapers to give him a bit more dignity. That was the plan anyway. It wasn’t easy because Bucky associated touching his diaper with harsh punishment. That’s why Steve insisted on telling his therapist. They had to break the bad thoughts. 

It had taken a lot of tears, and talking to Gina on the phone while Steve helped him change by himself. It had been freaking hard! But he had learned to do it. Now he could usually change himself unless he was sick or too tired. Then Steve helped. Bucky had gotten used to the way it was. 

Sitting on the couch watching tv, he’d wet himself without even thinking about it. 

Then one morning over breakfast Steve dropped the bombshell. “Buck, what do you think about getting toilet trained again? At least for the day time?”

Bucky frowned and shook his head. “No. I won’t be able to do it.”

That was the end of the conversation until a week later. Steve asked again. “The doctor said you should be able to. Your muscles are just weak.”

Bucky growled at Steve and locked himself in his bedroom for the rest of the day. He hated change. It was hard! He hated failing and he was afraid of failing. Gina had touched on the subject. He had remembered vaguely, being made fun of by different agents for wetting his pants years ago. It made him have an anxiety attack.

Steve left the subject alone for a few weeks, letting Gina talk to Bucky about his fear of failure. 

Finally, Steve broached the subject again one morning over breakfast. Instead of saying anything or asking, he simply set a bag of adult pull-ups on the table. 

  
Bucky pursed his lips, staring at Steve. “What is that?” He asked faintly.

Steve shrugged. “Read the package.”

Bucky didn’t want to read the package. He was comfortable wearing diapers! He wiggled in the soft, fresh padding of his dry diaper. 

“I don’t know if I can, Steve,” he said, feeling the familiar anxiety grip him. He hated to disappoint Steve and even though Gina had _promised_ thatit wasokay to fail, that it was part of learning something new, it still freaked him out. 

  
“I’ll help you,” Steve promised. “You know I will. I know it’s not easy for you.” It’s what Steve _always_ said. Steve was so good and it sometimes made Bucky feel even worse for being so broken. 

Bucky slowly took the bag, eyeing t as he finished his orange juice.  “ I’m scared, Stevie. What if I can’t learn?”

Steve patted his hand. “Don’t give up before you try. Go put one on.”

Bucky obediently went to his room and pulled one of the diapers from the bag. He looked at it nervously then took the one he was wearing, off. He slid the pull-up over his feet and up, letting the elastic sit snug around his waist. It felt so thin it made him even more nervous.  

  
Steve poked his head in. “ Hey! Looks good! You’re ready buddy.”

  
Bucky didn’t feel ready. He sighed and put his jeans on, turning to his buddy. 

  
Steve eyed the jeans. “Those aren’t gonna come down fast enough when you have to go.”

  
Bucky looked down. “What am I supposed to do then?”

  
Steve unbuttoned his jeans and pulled them down. “Just rock it toddler style.”

  
A slight pink tinge blushed across Bucky’s cheeks. “Ok.” He stood there uncertainly. “Feels weird, Steve.”

”It’s cuz you’re thinking about it too much. C’mon let’s go have a round of MarioKart.”

Bucky started to head to the living room.

  
“Whoa,” Steve said. “Do you need to pee?” 

  
Bucky looked at him. “N-no?” 

Steve chuckled. “Give it a try.” 

Bucky wrinkled his nose, but followed Steve to the bathroom. He stood there uncertainly. 

Steve thought for a minute then pulled his own pants down. “Watch me.”  He peed into the toilet. 

Bucky watched him, thinking that it didn’t look too hard, then flinched as he felt the padding swell with warmth as he peed. “Crap! Steve?”

Steve finished and pulled his pants up. “You ready to try?” 

Bucky blushed. “Uh...no. I’m wet.” 

Steve quirked an eyebrow. “Oh! Okay. Let’s get you changed then.”

Bucky changed into a dry pull-up. “Sorry Steve,” he mumbled.  

Steve patted his shoulder. “No biggie. It’s called training for a reason.”

They played MarioKart for a bit and then Steve asked if he needed to go. 

  
Bucky tried to feel if he needed to and shrugged. “I don’t know.”

  
Steve got up. “Let’s give it a try.”

  
Bucky stood at the toilet, trying to figure out which muscle to use to make a stream like Steve did. 

  
Steve leaned against the open door. “Just relax. It’ll come.”

  
It didn’t. Bucky gave up after a few minutes and pulled the diaper up. “It’s not working.”

  
“We’ll try again in twenty minutes.” Steve set a timer and gave Bucky a glass of water. “I’m not letting you get dehydrated.” 

Bucky guzzled the water and they went back to their game. Ten minutes later Bucky wet himself. He looked at Steve with big, tear filled eyes. “Steve, I didn’t stay dry! I can’t do it.”

  
“That’s okay Buck.” He got another fresh pull-up. “Don’t give up yet..”

Bucky didn’t want to do training. He couldn’t do it! 

All day long, Steve set the timer and Bucky tried but he kept wetting his pull-ups until he was frustrated and burst into tears. 

Steve helped him put a diaper on and they cuddled while Steve told him a funny story about him getting out of a hospital bed to use the bathroom and peeing on the floor. 

Bucky fell into an exhausted sleep. 

  
Two days and what felt like four hundred trips to the bathroom later, Bucky finally managed a weak dribble into the toilet. Steve high fived and hip hip hoorayed like he had just single handedly taken down Hydra. 

  
Bucky blushed at the praise but he was giddy! He did it! He had peed into the toilet just like Steve! 

The small victory renewed his determination. 

Steve set the timer and Bucky tried again and again. Wet pull-ups in between notwithstanding, that afternoon, Steve pulled him into the bathroom after giving him a large glass of water ten minutes prior.  

Bucky pushed his pull-up to his knees, watching curiously as Steve pulled his pants and underwear down. 

Steve gently pushed on his lower abdomen. “You feel that?”

Bucky nodded. “Is that my ‘have to pee’ feeling?”

”Yeah,” Steve answered. “When you feel that without pushing on it, you need to pee.” He aimed and started peeing. 

Bucky was surprised when he started peeing too and giggled a little. “I’m doing it Steve! Look!” He felt a major sense of accomplishment.

  
Steve was grinning. “See?! Way to go!! You will be doing this without a problem soon.”

  
Bucky and Steve washed their hands. “Does this mean I’m trained?” Bucky asked.

  
“Better stay in pull-ups a few days yet,” Steve cautioned. He ordered pizza anyway to celebrate.

”Pizza!” Bucky crowed. “I love pizza!”

”You worked hard this week to do this,” Steve said. “I’m proud of you!”

Bucky danced around happily waiting for their dinner. 

After dinner, Bucky sat on the couch basking in the feeling of having made Steve happy. “I’m still dry.” He swigged the last of his Pepsi down.

  
“Then maybe you better go pee,” Steve said checking his watch. It’s been almost an hour and you had a lot of pop.”

Bucky wrinkled his nose thoughtfully. “ I don’t feel it. You said I’d feel it.”

  
“Sitting down makes the feelings less strong,” Steve explained.

  
Bucky nodded. “Okay.” He stood up and immediately he felt the twinge. “Oh yeah! I gotta go!”

He only made it three steps before his bladder released. “Damn. Sorry Steve. Again.”

  
Steve smiled. “It’s okay Buck. Give it time. It’s not gonna happen that fast. Your body needs time to adjust.” 

  
“That’s why it’s called training.”  Bucky reminded himself. 

Steve nodded proudly. “Exactly.”

Bucky went to change realizing for the first time that he wasn’t afraid to fail anymore. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky decides he wants to be night time trained and finds out Steve has a secret

Bucky wanted to meet the Avengers. So freaking badly! And every time he brought it up, Steve had an excuse.

“You’re not ready emotionally.”

”I don’t think you’re ready to be around people all day.”

”The team is crazy.”

”You’ve only been toilet trained for a little while.”

Now THAT! had gotten Bucky’s goat. He had been doing really well. His daytime accidents were few and far between as long as he wasn’t too far away from a toilet. It was almost a month since he had started toilet training and he had even started wearing underwear most days unless they were on a road trip. Steve was being unreasonable!

When Bucky told Steve he felt ready, Steve took one more dirty shot. ”What if they poke fun at you for wearing diapers?”

Bucky had been taken aback and confused. “Would they?”

Steve shrugged, his bantering disappearing. “I dunno Buck.” He walked away, ending the conversation. 

When Bucky wore underwear, he enjoyed the way it felt. They were light and cool, unlike diapers. He often thought about not wanting to wear diapers anymore. At all! Obviously Steve would also love it if he could wear underwear all the time like him. Steve wouldn’t have to be embarrassed anymore to have Bucky go places with him, like team meetings. Bucky _WANTED_  to be ready. Steve had a meeting coming up in two weeks. 

When Bucky brought up his anxieties about it in therapy, Gina said that Steve wanted him to feel confident in his ability to socialize but Bucky was pretty sure that Steve was just embarrassed because Bucky would have to wear diapers at night and someone might see. 

He asked Steve about getting night time trained that evening after therapy. Gina had told him instead of agonizing about it to be straightforward with Steve. 

Steve just kind of shrugged and got all flushed. “You’re not ready.” He said shortly and went to his bedroom.

Bucky was taken aback by his reaction. “Asshole,” he muttered to the empty room.

He honestly didn’t know who else to talk to though and a few days later, he brought it up again, tentatively while they were watching a movie. “Steve....?” He started hesitantly. 

Steve glanced at him and turned the tv down. “Yeah?”

Bucky nibbled on his bottom lip anxiously. “We’re still best friends even when I ask questions...right?”

Steve frowned. “Of course! Don’t be stupid!”

Bucky fell silent wondering why Steve was already upset and he hadn’t even asked his question. He plowed ahead. “Can you _please_ help me get night time trained?” He gave Steve a pleading look.

Steve rolled his eyes. “Why are you obsessed with this all of a sudden? I don’t think you’re ready, Okay? Just...leave it!”

Bucky felt hurt again and got up, silently leaving the room and locking himself in his bedroom. He didn’t understand at all! Steve was the one who had _insisted_ he get toilet trained in the first place.

Now that Bucky wanted to get ALL better, and actually be able to do things, he was being a frickin’ moron about it! He flopped onto his bed and hugged a pillow. Maybe Steve was afraid that the Avengers would like Bucky more than they liked him. So if Bucky stayed broken, he didn’t have to worry about it! 

There was a knock about ten minutes later. Steve said, “Buck? I’m sorry I snapped at you. Can we talk?”

Bucky frowned at his pillow. Maybe Steve would think he was asleep.

Steve knocked again. “Please?” 

Bucky was feeling angry now. “Why?! So you can tell me some more how broken I am? I’m going to bed, Rogers.”  He put his diaper on and slid under his covers. He was tired of hearing Steve’s excuses. He was also too angry to talk right now. 

Steve was quiet after that and Bucky sighed deeply.  He wished it wasn’t such a big deal. He had feelings too! He wondered if he could do it on his own? He cried out of sheer frustration until he drifted off. 

The next morning, he woke up early and wet, as usual and went to shower. It was still really early. He’d forgotten to take his sleeping pill. He’d slept like crap. His face felt tight from crying. His head ached. He needed to talk to Steve today. They were gonna have it out, one way or the other. Bucky couldn’t do this anymore. 

He started coffee then sleepily opened the bathroom door, only then realizing Steve was already in the shower. He was about to leave when he saw a diaper on the floor, neatly rolled to be put in the trash. 

Bucky stared at it for several minutes, not comprehending. When the shower stopped and Steve pulled the glass shower door aside their eyes met for a startling moment. 

Steve’s face immediately turned a dark red. “You’re up early,” he mumbled, wrapping a towel around his waist. He grabbed his trash and brushed past Bucky. 

It took five full minutes for Bucky to snap back to reality, strip and have a quick shower. His brain was stuck replaying the scene. It didn’t make sense! Steve wore underwear! All the time! Didn’t he? If he didn’t... Why?? 

As Bucky dried and combed his hair, it came to him that Steve had not once in the last year and some, gotten ready for bed at the same time or before, Bucky. He was always up, showered and dressed before Bucky got up! It occurred to him as he got dressed that maybe Steve was hiding something. A big something. 

Bucky tidied his room, feeling more and more put out by Steve’s obvious secret keeping. Bucky had spent the last year being embarrassed about being unable to stay dry. Then in the last few weeks he’d been agonizing about Steve being embarrassed about his diapers. Now....NOW! _The frickin punk had been wearing every night SAME AS BUCKY and hadn’t sad a damn word!!_

Finally he couldn’t stand the silence anymore. He stepped out of his room. Steve wasn’t in the kitchen or living room. His bedroom door was shut though. Bucky cursed softly. He needed to get this out in the open! He needed to know what was going on! “Steve?” He knocked sharply.

There was no immediate answer forthcoming. Bucky impatiently tapped one foot then rapped on the wooden door again. “Rogers, this ain’t goin’ away. Open up!” 

Bucky honestly didn’t think he would but after two minutes of heavy silence, the lock clicked open and the door was pulled ajar just a sliver. Bucky pushed it open. 

Steve sat on the bed, head in his hands, elbows on his knees, the very picture of dejection. 

Bucky crossed his arms and waited, not taken in by Steve’s sadness. He knew how stubborn Steve could be. 

When the silence lengthened, Steve finally glanced up. He looked so guilty that Bucky’s wrath eased somewhat. 

“Why didn’t you just tell me?” Bucky asked impatiently.

Steve shrugged. “Guess I was embarrassed. You’d gone through so much and the serum was supposed to have fixed everything. It was just...I thought you’d think I was trying ta make light of your problems. I didn’t want to seem insensitive.”

Bucky snorted. “Steve....” He shook his head. “Only you would think it was insensitive. Geez.” He sighed deeply. “I felt so alone since I came and for the last several months I’ve been dyin’ a little each day thinking you were too embarrassed to be seen with me especially around your friends.” 

Steve’s head shot up and his eyes got big. “Me?? Embarrassed by you? Oh god Bucky! I’d NEVER be! The Avengers have been asking to meet you and I’ve been really stressed because I knew we’d share a bed there.” His eyes filled with tears. “I’m so sorry Bucky. I never wanted you to feel like I was embarrassed by you! I’m embarrassed by myself. Im so scared of the team finding out about this.” He looked at Bucky earnestly. “I am proud of you!

Bucky drew a deep breath. “Funny way of showin’ it, jerk! I’ve felt so useless, and all I wanted to do was be a part of something. All you hadta do was tell me.” He ran Steve’s words over in his head. “You think they’d make fun of you?”

Steve looked down, picking at the edges of his T-shirt. Two fat tears dripped onto his pants. “Probably. I’m Captain America. I’m supposed to be perfect.”

Bucky sat down next to him and pulled Steve into a one armed hug. “Hey. Sounds to me like you’ve done a pretty good job making yourself feel terrible about it. Have you ever considered trusting them? They’re your friends. Aren’t they?”

Steve looked at him in horror. “Oh gosh, no!! I could never tell them! You can’t ever tell them. Promise me!”

Bucky shrugged. “Okay. Relax. Just tell me though, why didn’t you wanna help me with night time training? Wouldn’t it have been easier?”  

Steve sighed deeply. “Pride,” he whispered. “I’m sorry. I knew as long as you were wearing at night, I wasn’t alone. I know. I know. I made you feel alone for so long.” 

Bucky’s mouth twitched into a grin. “You’re a sneaky sonovabitch. Well, honestly, the only reason I wanted to was because I wanted you to be proud of me.”

Steve ducked his head with a chuckle. “I’m so proud of you, man. So. So! Proud.”

Bucky flushed at the honest praise. “Thanks, Stevie.” He thought of something. “Hey. Now that I know your secret, does this mean I can finally meet the team??”

Steve looked at him, eyes twinkling. “Well, maaaaybe....”

Bucky narrowed his eyes. “Steve!” 

Steve laughed and pulled him into a tight hug. “Yeah man. Of course.”

”Your secret is safe with me,” Bucky assured him. 

 Steve nodded. “Good. I’d hate to tell the team about the night you were drunk.”

”You wouldn’t!” Bucky gasped.

Steve grinned. “As long as this stays between us, it’s safe.”

“It’s safe,” Bucky said quickly. He mentally zipped Steve’s secret up and locked it tight. The thought of having _THAT_ particular secret spilled made the secret of his own diapers ....seem like child’s play. 


End file.
